Our Homes Being ONE!

There is an importance of equality that needs to be part of a relationship, marriage, or home. This provides an environment where everyone is able to share thoughts and opinions. If we can create a home that is of one mind and one heart than we will be as close as possible to creating Zion in our home. Ways we can do this is to have weekly family home evening activities and family counsels. This creates a time set apart to catch up on the things going on in each others lives. What their joys or struggles are. It creates time to express love and concern for each other. But most of all, it creates a prim opportunity to pray together. For guidance with the trials that each one is going through and to have the Spirit in the home. The closet thing to the temple, is our homes. Create a sanctuary for your spouse and children!

"Normally when we see anger, behind it is just plain fear"

This relates more to parents in my mind right now. What could bring them to fear? Failing to support your family? Having no time to spend with your children or spouse? to most it is the fear of children straying away from the church. When we don't know what to do we tend to be overwhelmed and we tend to hide or act out because of our fears of failing. 

"Who are these straying sheep--these wayward sons and daughters? They are children of the covenant, heirs to the promises, and have received, if baptized, the gift of the Holy Ghost, which makes manifest the things of God.  Could all that go for naught?” (Orson F. Whitney Conference Report Apr, 1929) "

The measure of our success as parents, however, will not rest solely on how our children turn out. That judgment would be just only if we could raise our families in a perfectly moral environment, and that now is not possible. 

It is not uncommon for responsible parents to lose one of their children, for a time, to influences over which they have no control. They agonize over rebellious sons or daughters. They are puzzled over why they are so helpless when they have tried so hard to do what they should." 

(Boyd K. Packer, 1992 Spring Gen Conf, “Our Moral Environment”) There is always hope for us! We need to do our part and be satisfied with that. The rest will be taken care of in one way or the other. 

Learn to Manage Money Before it Manages You

I remember a time when I told my mother that I had just started dating this guy. I suppose the fact that I was now a college student, I needed to look at dating in a different way...or at least she was doing that for me. Once I told her, her reaction was different than I could have prepared for. The first thing out of her mouth was "Karaska, does he have any debt?!" This threw me a loop! Of course I ignored her and kept talking about other things going on. To this day, this is still something that I keep in the back of my mind. "A bride-to-be would do well to ask herself, 'Can my sweetheart manage money? Does he know how to live within his means?'" When we are considering marrying someone we really need to look at all aspects of life. Money seems to be a major contributor to divorce. Because many of us marry those that did not necessarily grow up in the same income family, we need to understand how each other likes to spend money and figure the best way to manage the incoming money to be had. Also, "management of family finances should be mutual between husband and wife in an attitude of openness and trust." We need to show our trust with each others financial ability to avoid situations where one might want to hang it over the head of the other when someone messes up.

Women Working in Society

In response to Hilary Rosen's comment  that Ann Romney was out of touch with most working moms and had "never worked a day in her life" Mitt Romney had this to say "I happen to believe that all moms are working moms, and if you have five sons, your work is never over." There is this idea going around that if you are a mom that chooses to stay at home to care for your children, then you are "settling" or "just a mom." It is perceived that these titles are worthless and that you are giving up your desires for your children. This is a bit bogus in the sense that those that have mothers at home to teach them and watch over their well-being that they will build better relationships with each other and be more fundamentally sound with the values that their parents feel are important to their family. My mother was not in the house a ton while growing up because she worked all day. One thing that she did to aid the lack of time she was there was that she would make sure her weekends included her children doing things with her. Not that it was time and activities based upon us, but that she would include us in the the things that she was apart of or with something that she needed to get done. I spend many hours with her at work late at night and serving people in need at the soup kitchen that she was in charge of. This was her way of bettering the situation for our lifestyle and needs.

Lesson on Sex

Growing up in my family, there was like a unspoken understanding that sex is bad. This caused a sense of discomfort when ever any sex related thing would come on during a movie or in conversation in public. I think that as future parents we need to prepare ourselves now for what we are comfortable with explaining about bodies and what happens in marriage as far as sex goes. Sex is not a bad thing.When we teach that it is bad, then problems come about. They are ashamed of our bodies and they tend to shut down. Someone in class explained a great way of explaining the sacredness of sex to your children. I call it the piece of tape model. You explain that tape sticks together better for one bond than if they had stuck to others first. It shows how important the act of sex is. It needs to be in the right manner. Once we explain this idea to them, then they won't have to turn to learn this outside the house.

"The only person you should relate to sexually after marriage is your spouse"

This is a really good thing to keep in mind! I mean, over time looks are going to change. For instance, Brother Williams explained this idea very well. "What's the hype with 6 packs?? I've got a party ball!" It's all how we look at the years coming to each of our lives. We need to find the little things that wont change in our other half that we can love and "turn" us on forever. If we fail to do this, then we may come in contact with a big problem in our society that is occurring right now. If we aren't helping fill the needs of our partner, by loving them in a different ways, then they might turn to other means. Other means being pornography. This is a breaker in a marriage and can harm a family. There is a need to avoid this at all costs and by doing the little things, we can know what we are up against.

Dating Filter System

I think it is interesting that when we talked about this in class that the first filter is physical attraction. For me, I feel like yes, I need to have some kind of interest in his look at first, but most of the guys that I am like "He is attractive!" I don't even go after. Yes, there needs to be some kind of like of their physical demeanor, but not something that causes more of a lust. I feel like the more time you spend with one another, you see the common similarities that you have and those strike some kind of fancy. For me, I am a super reserved person when it comes to a man that I have feelings for or could see him becoming a huge part of my life. Not that I am not open, I am just more aware as to what I share. Like a protective thing. Not saying this is a great way of dealing with dating and getting to know someone, but this is how I am. So, to me I think that conversation is HUGE. If we don't have a common way of speaking to each other, then most of the times it causes misunderstandings and you hit some kind of a way. To either break it down, or turn around and go a different route.